Friday, November 9, 2007

Football Movie All Time Team part 1

Sitting around with my friends, we often use movies as a subject of our conversations. Weather it be quoting a film, or comparing someones actions to a certain person in a movie; it always seems to be the one staple in our group. As conversation among guys almost always does, the conversation turned to sports, in this case who the cowboys should take with their 2 first rounders. It wasn't long until someone threw out a sports related movie quote, I believe it was "See that shoe, it says Adidas."

This got me thinking, if I could draft a NFL team with only selecting characters from movies, who would it be? Well after a few hours on my computer, and on, this is what I have come up with. Note that I am a younger man, and some of the "golden age" of football movies aren't as impressionable on me. So here is my team.

QB3 – Shane Falco "Number 16 On Your Program -- Number 1 In Your Heart! Shane Falco!"

Let see, who is the greatest back up QB of all time? I think it might be Doug Flutie, why? Because he just won games and played with heart. That is Shane Falco. He can be my 3rd QB anytime. I think he said it best with, "Pain heals, chicks dig scars, but glory lasts forever"

QB2 – Joe Kane "Because as we all know, Kane is Able" The Program

Ohh the greatness of Joe Kane. This short, drunk, lying down in the middle of the road son of bitch, is what a QB is all about. He couldn't have been but about a buck fifty, but he could scramble away from ANYBODY. When we left him at the end of the movie, he was still a JR and going back for his senor season at ESU, the potential here is just fantastic not to include him on my team.

QB1 – Willie Beamen. "My name is Willie, Willie Beamen, I leave the ladies, creamin', my fans? Their screamin', think you'll defet me? Your dreamin' " Any Given Sunday

Alright, this one was by far the hardest position to fill. Just about every football movie has a bad ass rock star QB. I chose Willie because he can create on the fly, run, and has the deep touch. The reason he is starting in front of my back up guys is he has more NFL experience than the other too. Not to mention he can hook everybody up with MET-Rx.

RB2 – Julian Washington "Kiss my Armani ass!" Any Given Sunday.

As the back up/ power back I choose the great Miami Shark money driven RB Julian Washington. Always a player that's not scared to give himself a pat on the back in public, I'm sure he will be down with running the goal line.

RB1 – Darnell Jefferson " Darnell Jefferson, Tailback" The Program

The second ESU Wolfpack member to grace the team, Jefferson's speed and big play ability is something that needs to be showcased. He can break a game open anytime he touches the ball. Let's not forget about that run back vs. Taft.

FB Ray Griffen "Ray Griffen, starting tailback" The Program.

The thunder right is now complete in the back field. In only one game as a true FB, Griffen has shown me enough to warrant the spot on the team, despite his recent spat with starting RB Jefferson.

WR 4 Charlie Tweeder "Jonathan Moxon your are under arrest for not being naked with some sophomore chick who wants to bathe you with her tongue, now take off your clothes and get in the car." Varsity Blues

First player taken from the West Canaan Coyotes, this speed demon is great coming off the bench and on special teams.

WR 3 – Clifford Franklin "The football's like a one-man cold to Clifford Franklin. Clifford Franklin's the only man catching' it, Clifford Franklin's the only man comin' down wid it." The Replacements

Known to have some problems holding onto the ball, but a great 3rd receiver in the slot. I

WR 2 – Phillip Elliot "No stupid box can tell me how good I play" North Dallas Forty.

The only player included from the older set of movies. I read the book NDF and thought this guy is great. An ageing WR trying to stay alive in the league just a few more years, so he takes every pain killer he can get his hands on and still makes big grabs when he needs it. Nick Nolte has to be on the team. Just does.

WR 1 – Rod Tidwell "I am a valuable commodity! I go across the middle! I see a dude coming at me, trying to kill me, I tell myself "Get killed. Catch the ball!' BOO YA! Touchdown! I make miracles happen!" Jerry Maguire

The number one guy. If he can continue to go over the middle and make the catch, we will give him his quan!

TE – Brain Murphy " (uhh he's def)" The Replacements.

The only memorable TE of any football movie I can think of so you know he's on the team by default. That aside this guy can move the chains for my team any day.

OL Back ups Jamal and Andre Jackson "Man, I'm going to go sit with the deaf kid." The Replacements

A pair of guards that washed out of the league when they were separated, but when put together, they are a force to be reckoned with. Great guys that coming off the bench.

LT – Switowski "I think I made-ed him shit himself." The Longest Yard.

Who wouldn't want the beast as your LT? A gentile giant, with the IQ of a banana. The first member of the Mean Machine to make the list.

LG – Billy Bob "Miss Davis, would you go to the prom with me?" Varsity Blues

Like I'm going to leave him off my team. Look anyone who brings a pig to a party, and then drives onto a football field drunk as piss and shoots his old trophies with a 22, is a good guy to have on the team.

C – Manumana "Where I come from, Mr. Blake, we're taught to respect our elders." Necessary Roughness

He was the sturdy rock that held together the Texas State Armadillos OL. Now he holds mine.

RG – Jumbo "Nan desu ka!" The Replacements

A former sumo wrestler now makes a great RG on this line.

RT - Mike "Bud Light" Kaminski "Helluva throw Joe, wish I'd seen it." The Program.

Ohh Yes, the guy with the crazy ass fade/bowl cut hair do. I like this guy because of his athletic ability next to the stone footed Jumbo.

All right that's it for now, how ever I will post the def (I have it already decided but haven't written it out yet) later. If you have any suggestions on who should be on the other side of the ball let me know. when your in, your in.


Hagetaka said...

So basically you're admitting you've never seen Semi-Tough?

Burt Reynolds?
Kris Kristoffersen?


At least put the owner in there.

(looking at the sky) "You're gonna fuck me again, aren't you God?"

Mike Murray said...

It's a bad sign when you have a boner like this in the first paragraph:

"Weather it be quoting..."

cupcrazy01 said...


I'll start for you...
DT Lattimer (Program)
DT Phillip Fitch (Wildcats)
LB Alvin Mack (Program)
DL/LB Sinbad (Nec.Roughness)

Just a couple other suggestions...

Also, don't forget the Trumaine as QB (Wesley Snipes in Wildcats) and WR Featherstone from Nec.Roughness, who showed in the last game that he can in fact catch. He's always open deep.

James said...

I can not even describe the anticlimactic manner this article presented me.

You list is of a few movies out of many more. Here is a few:

(you had)
The Program
Necessary Roughness
Varsity Blues
Longest Yard
Jerry McGuire
Any Given Sunday
The Replacements

All the Right Moves
Last Boy Scout
Water Boy
Forest Gump
Blind Side
Remember the Titans
Friday Night Lights
The Game Plan
Gridiron Gang
We are Marshall
The Comebacks
The Express

I mean... just do a little research. You said you were on IMDB right?